“我想改个名字。”

“为什么？”

“没有为什么，我就是想要改一个名字。”

“别干这种事。只有不幸的人才会改名字。这不过是为了“摆脱自我”而采取的手段罢了。”

Voice-over

"I want to change my name."

'Why?

"For no reason, I just want to change my name."

"Don't do that. Only unfortunate people change their names. It's just a way to get rid of oneself."

《自白》“我总是忘不掉改名这件事，可是这不能归咎于廉价酒使我喝得醉醺醺，也不能埋怨投币式唱机里,西田佐知子的歌给了我共鸣。”

Confession

"I can't get 'change my name' out of my mind, and I can't blame that I got drunk on cheap alcohol or I found support from Nishida Sachiko's songs played by the coin-op record."

“对话理应面面俱到，无所不谈，但又不可深谈。我想这句话在此时送给你正合适，我跟你讲过平时多读一些书是有益处的。”

“那你想我读什么书呢？”

“《论语》《中庸》《大学》都未尝不可。省的你把心思放在些歪处。”

"Conversations should cover all the bases and everything, but not in depth. I think this is the right time to say that to you. I've told you that it's good to read more."

"What do you want me to read?"

"The Analects of Confucius, the Doctrine of the Mean and the Great Learning are all good. They help save your mind from the wrong place."

“可我生病了。我看不清《论语》上的字。”

“平时都好好的，怎的忽然看不清了？”

“没有为什么，就是看不清。而且我觉得这未尝不是一件好事。”

"But I'm sick, and I can't read the words in the Analects."

"You've been all good. How come you suddenly can't see?"

"No reason. I just can't see. And I don't think it's a bad thing."

“我只看到纸面上布满扭曲蠕动的蚯蚓，我想它们也很痛苦，可惜它们甚至不能发声，只能继续用身体传达符号，我想这是蚯蚓的观念和思想，我要记录下来，可就在这想法冒出来的瞬间，我连它们也看不清了。也许它们只是在尝试性爱本质多样性的频率，角度，伦理和秩序。真是浪漫又冒险的生活，想必痛苦与真诚我皆不及它们，某种程度上它们才是“先我主义”的先驱。”

"All I saw was a paper full of twisty, wriggly earthworms. I think they suffer too, but sadly they can't even make sounds and can only use their bodies to convey signs. These are earthworms' ideas and thoughts, and I want to record them. But I couldn't see them in the second when the thought came to me. Maybe they're just trying the frequency, angle, ethics and order of sex which is diverse in its nature. It's a romantic and adventurous life.They must be painful or genuine. No matter how they are, I'm not as good as them. To some degree, they were the pioneer of solipsism."

“我懂了，归根到底你在向我绞尽脑汁的示威，我望向你的眸子，只能看到“变革”和“矛盾”两个词。你在不满，你在抗拒，你想当然的试图扯开你臆想中我映射在你身上的投影，却从来没有思考过它是否真的存在。你只是在逃避，你唾弃的一切，家庭关系，社会结构，道德伦理只是因为你无法从它们身上获得成就感。你只会沉浸在众人皆醉你独醒的虚假影像里腐烂，嘴里不停念叨着不公。但你要知道，机智的表情一旦开始，真正的美就随机陨落。才智本身即是一种夸张，会破坏任何脸蛋的和谐。”

“我毫不介意将你称之为懦夫，是不是听起来远胜于背道而驰的浪子？“

"I see. After all, you are trying to threaten me. When I look into your eyes, I see only two words, change and conflict. You are discontented and resistant. You try to take for granted the projection of me onto you, without ever thinking about whether it really exists. You're just running away from everything you despise, family relationships, social structures and morals, because you can't get a sense of accomplishment from them. You indulge in the false image that everyone is drunk and you are awake, and your mouth will not stop talking about injustice. But you should know that once the witty expression begins, the real beauty falls at random. Intelligence itself is an exaggeration and will destroy the harmony of any face."

"I don't mind calling you a coward. Does that sound much better than a rake that is on the opposite? "

“我并没有你想的那么肤浅。我想的很多，比如既然社会结构是人为制定的，那些所谓的道德、规则，不过是掌权人为了维持秩序和保护自己才编派出来的东西而已。”

"你这么想很危险。"

"可毫不危险的想法怎么能被称作观念呢？"

"可笑。"

“比如虽然老大爷们声称“不义之财留不住”，但其实这个世界上没有不被称作不义之财的钱财。”

"你以后会明白的。"

“比如如果没有欲望，是无法得到未来的。停，我不需要你的回应了，我受够了那些告诫的口吻。你总在说，那这算谁的欲望，又算谁的未来呢？”

"I'm not as superficial as you think. I think a lot. For instance, since humans made the social structure, those so-called morality and rules are nothing but those in power to maintain order and protect their own things."

"It's a dangerous thought."

"But how can a thought be a concept if it is not dangerous?"

"Ridiculous."

"And, the old guys always say 'filthy lucre won't stay in pockets', but there is no money in the world that is not filthy."

"You'll understand someday."

"Also, no desire, no future. And stop! I don't need any of your responses. I've had enough of the admonition. You're always talking. Whose desire is that, and whose future is that?"

“我从未觉得我是背道而驰的，只是殊途同归。我在走一条平行的路，通往哪里，在哪分岔，距离多远，什么目的我都不知道。可你总不能说这是构想的，说是虚无主义的自尊，因为硌脚的砂石是真实的。我记得我每一步双腿摆动的幅度和空气的湿度。总之我在走这条路。”

“你说我享受臆想的快感，也别把自己包装成无求的圣人。”

"I never thought I was going in the opposite direction. It's just different paths that lead to the same destination. I'm taking a parallel road. I don't know where it leads and bifurcates, how long it is, and for what purpose. But you can't say that this is conceived, or nihilistic self-esteem, because the cutting sand and stones are real. I remember the swing of my legs with each step and the humidity of the air. Anyway, I'm on that path."

"You say I enjoy the pleasure of imagination. Then don't package yourself as a saint having no desire."

“求？我有何求？我所做的一切纯粹是完全的单向付出。不希冀得到任何的回报，不需要获取任何满足抑或是虚荣心的付出。”

“那我请问，是什么样的付出让你生出这样自我麻痹的幻觉？”

“太多了。我用沾满糖浆和坚果碎的麻绳捆绑塑形你的脊椎，我赐予你从珠宝孔洞的缝隙里观察街景的机遇，连带着习惯被投食的鸽子，无业流窜的流浪狗也一并被看去。世人轻率的将这概括为爱，我更愿意将这种感情定义成血脉，或者是继承。”

“继承什么？或者说复制什么？”

“继承我的肉，与骨，皮夹，茶杯，银筷子和地库里的半袋子米。既然你用你病了的借口来当屏障，那我也无话可说。”

”确实，我是真的生病了。”

“听说人类最后患上的最严重的病是名为希望的病，希望我得的病不是。”

"Desire? What do I desire? What I do is pure one-way giving, without any expectation of return, any need for satisfaction or give out of vanity."

"What kind of give brought you such an illusion of self-paralysis?"

"Too much. I'll tie your spine and correct it with twine covered in syrup and nuts. I give you the opportunity to see the streets through the holes in the jewelry, and you can enjoy the picture that the pigeons are used to being fed and the homeless stray dogs. The world rashly generalises this as love. I prefer to define it as blood or inheritance."

"Inherit what? Or copying what?"

"Inherit my flesh, my bones, my wallet, my teacup, my silver chopsticks, and half a bag of rice in my basement. You use your illness as a shield. Then I have nothing to say."

"Yes, I am."

"I heard that the most serious disease that humans eventually suffer from is the disease called hope. I hope mine is not."